Battle Royal
by MJMMudblood
Summary: Jim Carey Characters Fic. When all the characters are sent to an island, they must kill to win. RR
1. Intro

BATTLE ROYAL  
  
(Based on an idea by Asian Extreme, the creators of Japanese version of The Ring.)  
  
By MJM*Mudblood  
  
(A/N : I most recently watched the Asian extreme movie Battle Royal and decided it is a great idea that I must steal. And Now to unleash my fury. By the way this is a story about Jim Carey characters. Please don't sue.)  
  
CHAPTER ONE - Introduction(s)  
  
"Who would have believed it my little monkey friend ?" Ace Ventura asked his pet monkey spike as his trashed and broken up car took another city street corner. "Me awarded the Greatest Detective in the Field of Animals Award." Ace looked the definition of cool. His shades, his rented tux and of course his tie featuring his picture with a hippo named grace. Ace repeated himself, "Who would have believed it my little monkey friend ? There is an award for Animal detection."   
  
The car skidded to a halt as Ace pulled into the last remaining parking space. "Like a glove."  
  
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Stanley Ipkiss frowned as he stared down at his watch. It was eleven. He was supposed to be at the airport in an hour. He couldn't believe his luck today. Ever since the mask he had taken a turn for the worst. If that was even possible. He had been fired from his job, his girlfriend left him for a rich millionaire, Charlie someone, and his dog Milo was run over by a complete jerk Hollywood star. Yes, his life had got worse. And now to make matters a whole lot worse he was going to miss the plane.  
  
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Truman Burbank ran as fast as he could along the Miami coastline. He loved life outside Seahaven, he even had his own sailboat now, on which he spent many summer (or winter for that matter) days spending time with his wife. He had leant how to act and was now appearing in Shakespearean plays all across Miami. But more importantly he was finally with the girl he loved. He made a leap of the sidewalk and down a flight of stairs his feet landing comfortably in the sand.   
  
"Good Morning Beach !" He yelled as the sun made it's way up, "And in case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight."  
  
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Edward Nigma hated his cell. The days when he had acted crazy in hope of being moved to a insane asylum were or and now he merely sat on the floor staring into space. His man was foiled and he had a feeling that it was two-faces fault.  
  
"Medication time," Came a voice from his cell door. That was strange, Edward had not had any medication in months due to his now placid and well behaved manor. And then the door opened. The man was not his regular doctor. He smiled and as he leaned into inject the medicine into Edwards arm, he stared at his shirt. The words BR were written on his sleeve and pocket. Who the hell was this guy ? 


	2. The Rules

BATTLE ROYAL  
  
(Based on an idea by Asian Extreme, the creators of Japanese version of The Ring.)  
  
By MJM*Mudblood  
  
CHAPTER TWO - The Rules  
  
Bruce's head hurt so bad that when he tired to open his eyes he found he couldn't. He was defiantly around people. He couldn't see them but he could hear them moving from his left to his right.  
  
"That's right ! Move away from the Green one !" I voice yelled into the silence and then Bruce could open his eyes. He looked to the source of the voice to find a green hairy man in a Santa outfit and he, like the others made his way to the right.  
  
The room itself was small. It was filled with desks and had a TV and door at one end. The Grinch was the first to realise the collar round his neck and fell flat on his back to try and scratch it off. The others stared at him in amazement before realising that they too were wearing metallic collars around their neck's. There were 9 people in the room. Lloyd Christmas, Ace Ventura, Bruce Nolan, The Riddler, Stanley Ipkiss, Truman Burbank, Fletcher Reede, Charlie Baileygates and the green hairy man in the corner. They did not have to wait long to find out why they were there. In just a few moments the double doors flew open and in came 10 army men with bags and famous Hollywood Actor Jim Carey, who stopped and stared at the group.  
  
"Hi," He announced to the group with a wave, "You've probably heard of me, the name's Jim Carey." Many of the group nodded, while others stood and stared. After a brief silence Jim started again, " Now your probably wondering why you are here. And this tape will answer all so sit down and listen."   
  
But before the tape could even be put in the video player Lloyd Christmas was on his feet.  
  
"How long is this video ?" He asked, because I'm late for a meeting."  
  
It would be the last words he ever spoke because at that second Jim Carey turned on the spot and threw a knife straight through his forehead.  
  
"Now if anyone else has any questions," He asked into the eerie silence, "Good. To the video."  
  
The video was pushed in by one of the army people as many stared down at the dead body of the complete stranger. He had only asked a question.  
  
"Good Evening gentleman," Came the voice of a sexy looking lady in a red dress, "You have been given the privilege of being this years Battle Royal contestants. You don't know it yet, but you are on a remote island of the coast of Japan. But lets get straight to business. The rules." Stanley Ipkiss wiped the sweat carefully off his brow. "Each of you is wearing a collar that measures your heart beat. If you try to remove the collar it will blow off your head so don't fiddle with it." The Grinch paused and took his hands slowly from the collar. "If by the end of the next 24 hours there is more than one of you left alive the collars will detonate and you will all die. So while you are here you need to fight hard. In a moment Jim Carey will read out your name and number and you will be given a bag with provisions and a weapon. You need to kill each other to survive. Good Luck." And at that the tape stopped.  
  
"This is insane," Bruce Nolan muttered under his breath and to the left of him Truman Burbank nodded.  
  
"Number 1, Ace Ventura." Jim Carey muttered, and he stepped forward to collect his bag and was pushed out the door. "Number 2, Truman Burbank." And so it went until everyone had left.  
  
Jim Carey looked down at his watch, "Game begins at 8:03pm." 


	3. Death Two

BATTLE ROYAL  
  
(Based on an idea by Asian Extreme, the creators of Japanese version of The Ring.)  
  
By MJM*Mudblood  
  
CHAPTER THREE - Death Two  
  
Ace Ventura stopped in the nearest bush he could. He threw his bag down a open the zip slowly, taking off his shades as he did. This was serious. Life or death. No time for fun and games on this one. Slowly he pulled the stuff out of his bag. A bottle of water and map, a compass, a ready packed meal and pen knife. His weapon was a pen knife ? Ace stood up as he heard voices but sat back down immediately. It was one of the guys from the room. He was talking to himself.  
  
"I think you should let me deal with this one Charlie boy." The man said as he pulled the Axe from out of his bag. "No way Hank," The man replied answering to himself. "We are not killing anyone." And then the man was gone. Ace stared down at his map. There was a dock a couple of miles west. Maybe he could find a boat and get off the island. But then there was still the matter of the collar. He stared into the darkness for a moment before setting off. At least if he headed for the docks he was doing something he decided as he marched off.  
  
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"A saucepan lid." Bruce Nolan muttered to himself as he marched into the darkness. It was 9:30 by his watch and it was already dark. "Well thank you GOD !" He yelled into the silent wild life. "That's just my luck." Bruce rubbed his head slowly slid down a tree until he was at down. He slowly moved the prayer beads through his hand and stared up into the sky. "I'm gonna need your help buddy." He said before lying down on his back. Maybe if he laid low for the night he'd make it till morning he told himself. But he couldn't sleep. And wouldn't for the rest of the day.  
  
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The Riddler smiled at his weapon. A handgun. He had been following the green beast for hours and he would be his first kill. The Grinch marched forward. His pitch fork in hand.  
  
"This'll be a breeze," he told himself, "I'll kill them one by one. And then by the end of the night be left, by Jove this will be fun." The Grinch paused. He was rhyming again. But he wouldn't for long because at that moment there was a bang and he dropped to the floor. Blood gushing from his head. The Riddler Smiled. This completion would be a piece of cake. 


	4. Update

BATTLE ROYAL  
  
(Based on an idea by Asian Extreme, the creators of Japanese version of The Ring.)  
  
By MJM*Mudblood  
  
CHAPTER FOUR - Update  
  
"Listen up guys. It's time for your 6am update." Jim Carey's voice was heard by all over the loud speakers. "Here are the deaths in the order they happened. Number One ; Lloyd Christmas, was killed by yours truly. Number two ; The Grinch. Shot down dead by the Riddler and Number Three ; Stanley Ipkiss committed suicide by means of hanging himself. That is all."   
  
Truman Burbank stopped . He had not known any of those people but he felt sorry for them never the less. He himself had thought about suicide during the night but now he had more of a plan. He would find the centre where Jim was and kill him to end the madness. The only problem was how he would do this with a baseball bat. Truman frowned. Well at least he had a plan.  
  
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"Who goes there ?" Fletcher Reede yelled into the silence. He had slept in the barn all night and now he was sure he heard someone walking around. "I have a gun so be warned !" That itself was a lie.  
  
"Ace Ventura, Pet Detective." The man in the shadow's yelled. "I have only a pen knife but I think I know a way out without the killing so don't shoot." The man sounded honest, Fletcher made his way slowly from behind the tractor he was hiding behind and walked slowly to the man.  
  
"So what's your plan ?" 


	5. Death Four

BATTLE ROYAL  
  
(Based on an idea by Asian Extreme, the creators of Japanese version of The Ring.)  
  
By MJM*Mudblood  
  
CHAPTER FIVE - Death four  
  
Bruce Nolan marched across the forest and into the clearing. In the centre stood building they had woke up in.  
  
"This is undignified." Bruce yelled as he tossed down his saucepan lid. "I demand a phone call and a explanation.  
  
"Of which I doubt you'll get." The Riddler muttered as he made his appearance from behind a tree. "You see my friend, Your not going to get a phone call or your explanation."  
  
"And why's that !" Bruce Nolan demanded. And he got his explanation. A bullet in the forehead.  
  
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"So that's your plan is it ?" Fletcher asked. "To get to the docks and try to break the collar's by holding them under water." Ace nodded. It was as good a plan as he could think of. "Well. I like it." And then Ace sparked another plan.  
  
"We could take the tractor !" He yelled suddenly marching toward it. "You know how to jump start a Tractor."  
  
"No."  
  
"Alrighty then," And at that they began the walk." 


	6. The Riddler Vs Hank

BATTLE ROYAL  
  
(Based on an idea by Asian Extreme, the creators of Japanese version of The Ring.)  
  
By MJM*Mudblood  
  
CHAPTER SIX - The Riddler Vs. Hank  
  
The Riddler made his way across the deserted town with a smile on his face. He had already killed two people and judging by the update he was the only one with a projectile weapon. This would be a piece of cake. Assuming that he could find the others before the end of the time limit. He had no watch, so he'd better hurry.  
  
"Hey punk," Came the intimidating voice of Hank, "Lets dance." And at that he swung his axe toward the batman enemy at such speed that the man dressed in green only just avoided it. BANG ! BANG ! The bullet shots rang through the air. Both missed giving Hank time to pull his axe out of the garage door and swing again at the Riddler. It missed, but just. BANG ! A shot in the shoulder. That was no good. BANG ! The last bullet whooshed past his head. There was no time to reload. The axe was swung at the Riddler again, and again he narrowly avoided. Edward panicked. For the first time in the completion he feared how his life. The axe swung again and this time it connected. The Riddler screamed in pain. His arm was hanging from the elbow socket. There was no doubt he had lost his arm.  
  
Truman saw his chance. If he was to survive he would indeed have to kill. With one swing at the back of Hank he knocked him off his feet and down onto The Riddler. Truman took his opportunity there and then . Within seconds he had the axe out of Edward Nigma's arm and swung it at his head. No more Riddler.   
  
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Fours had passed since their meeting and finally Ace and Fletcher had made it to shore. A boat sat tied to the pier and Ace explored it as Fletcher walked straight to the sea. He held his breath and shoved his head under water. 5 seconds. 10. 20 and then he pulled his head up. But it was no use. The Collar was water proof.  
  
"Here's the 11am update." Came the voice from the nearby speaker. It was Jim as usual. "Number Four; Bruce Nolan was shot by the Riddler, Number Five ; The Riddler lost his head at the hands of Truman Burbank and Number Six ; Truman Burbank was shot by Charlie, or should I say Hank, Baileygates. That is all."   
  
Ace thought it over from his boat. How did they know how the had died. And then he figured it out. Cameras.  
  
Fletcher almost thought he was under attack from his position a little down from the boat as he heard the smash. Ace had thrown a rock at the nearby camera and now it was hanging off the pole, broken. 


	7. The Last Two Deaths

BATTLE ROYAL  
  
(Based on an idea by Asian Extreme, the creators of Japanese version of The Ring.)  
  
By MJM*Mudblood  
  
CHAPTER SEVEN - Last Two death's  
  
Ace Ripped his collar off without hesitation. Without the camera the people in the control tower could not see it happen. They would just assume him dead. Fletcher looked at him in horror.  
  
"How come your not dead ?" He asked.  
  
"Simple my scared friend," Ace began, "They can't see us." Fletcher starred at him. And then after a few seconds he pulled his collar off. And then he began laughing. The laughter didn't stop for a while and then, as Ace prepare the boat, Fletcher stopped.  
  
"We beat them," He yelled through his silence. "We did it."  
  
But at that second Hank marched through the bush and Ace ducked down on his boat. Hank had a gun in one hand, An axe in the other and a baseball bat tied to his back.   
  
"Die Punk." He yelled before firing four bullets into Fletchers chest.  
  
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Jim stared at the monitor. All the participates were stood in the only area that had no camera footage. And then Ace and Fletchers pulse stopped.   
  
"We have a winner !" Jim informed them. "Charlie Baileygates. Get down to section H7 and give him his reward."  
  
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Ace had never been so angry in his life. Fletcher had told him all about himself in the past 5 hours. His child his life and Ace had begun to think of him as a friend and now he was dead. Ace couldn't help his fury and within seconds he had dived on the man and stabbed him in the head with a broken piece of glass. But not before taking a few bullets to the chest. The three lay on their back. The Battle Royal had been pointless. 


	8. The End

BATTLE ROYAL  
  
(Based on an idea by Asian Extreme, the creators of Japanese version of The Ring.)  
  
By MJM*Mudblood  
  
CHAPTER EIGHT - The end  
  
Jim Carey and the army officials arrived at the bay to find the corpses. But not the ones they had expected. Ace and Hank lay on the beach. Hank's blood poured down his forehead and Ace's chest was riddled with bullet holes.  
  
"What happened ?" Jim demanded. "Where's Fletcher ?"  
  
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Fletcher stared down at his chest. The bullet proof vest had worked a charm. He laughed to himself wondering why Ace had trusted him. He was renowned for his lying. The boat sailed off and even Fletcher had no idea where he would end up. He just want to escape the island of death. He had done it. He had won the Battle Royal.  
  
THE END  
  
Here's the death list for you,  
  
1) Lloyd Christmas - Dumb and Dumber  
  
2) The Grinch - The Grinch  
  
3) Stanley Ipkiss - The Mask  
  
4) Bruce Nolan - Bruce Almighty  
  
5) The Riddler - Batman Forever  
  
6) Truman Burbank - The Truman Show  
  
7) Charlie Baileygates - Me, Myself and Irene  
  
8) Ace Ventura - Ace Ventura Pet detective / When Nature Calls  
  
Survivor : Fletcher Reede - Liar Liar 


End file.
